Ante Natal Class #2 Knitted Tit Week

Session number two and this week we all returned a little less nervous and ready to greet our allies (those we sat next to last week) with the familiarity you’d expect having known someone really rather well for some time. The unsurprising result of discussing mucus plugs and the perineum with total strangers.

This week was knitted tit week. Or breastfeeding week and this week Adam came along with me so in contrast to last week where I appeared to be happily solo I’m now attending with an utter know it all. Adam has taken it upon himself to research and purchase the baby bottles and breast pump and as a result has read more than anyone should ever read about nipples, teats and flow. He showed us all up and went from no show to teachers pet in an instant. 

Wondering what to expect from the ‘Breastfeeding’ bit of class? Here are the key snippets I took away:

  • The midwife does not have the pattern for the knitted tit
  • Hand expression is not about jazz hands
  • You will, without doubt, be made to feel like a shit awful woman if your not 110% sure that breast feeding is for you
  • You will leave this session with a terrible fear of cracked nipples and mastitus (Adam apparently knows all about this)
  • The baby’s tummy is the size of a marble for the first couple of weeks (I know!!)
  • It will almost certainly hurt and be hard and you’ll probably feel like you can’t do it and want to give up
  • It will get better. Probably.
  • If you express you can have a bloody good night out

I can’t help but feel that the ‘advice’ above just won’t cut it. We were there for two hours in total and whilst I know we have to accept the unknown and throw ourselves trustingly into the arms of Mother Nature, there must be something more useful to us unwitting mums-to-be than this. 

So, I call upon Mums. Can you help? What would be your top nursing tips for us who haven’t yet faced it? What do you wish you’d known?

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